This is one class they didn’t but should’ve taught in school. What’s the point of F=ma when what we're dealing with are Ps and Vs?
I was brought up to believe that sex is sacred. And I still
stand by this belief. But, waiting till marriage? Okay… That’s an interesting
perspective, a bit extreme even for me. And why has the casual sexual
relationship gotten such a bad rep lately? Sleeping with someone without
wanting to be in a serious committed relationship with him or her isn’t necessarily
an atrocious act. (If you’re going to pull a quote from the Bible, can you just
not?) What is heinous though, is Darren Wilson not being indicted for shooting
an unarmed Michael Brown. Chew on that instead.
This is just an assumption, but I’m confident that there’s
quite a bit of truth in this: lots of twentysomethings either aren’t ready to
be in real relationships or else simply choose not to be, but still want to get
laid – yes, this one is also you, my sweet Maz. Everyone is at a unique place
in his or her life, we’re all spinning on our own axis at our own speed, each
person has distinct and differing end goals. I don’t take it personally.
Is it so unthinkable that a girl may find a guy cool, be
sexually attracted to him, treat him with respect, and – wait for it – not want
to lock it down with monogamy? This girl does not exist! If you know a girl who
fulfills all aforementioned criterions, please shoot her in the face immediately.
She is spoiling the market for the rest of us. *Ahem* Whore. Oh my god, you
guys! I’m just kidding, okay????
Now let’s be realistic and think about it with the roles
reversed cuz it’s easier. Is it so impossible? Is it so wrong to have a
worthwhile sexual relationship with someone without any intentions of taking it
further? I’m asking these questions as if I have the answers, but I honestly
don’t. I mean, I just learned how to do sex last week by watching Game of
Thrones. So I’m sorry if I was a little oafish under the sheets. And I’m also
sorry for killing your whole family.
All I know is that you get to release some – or in certain
cases, a lot of – repressed sexual energy. You get to have a carefree, intimate
interaction with someone whose company you enjoy. You get to discover new
things about yourself and your partner. You get to learn new moves you’d never
imagine possible. Who is getting the short end of the stick here, really? Only
people who want to cuddle, because it’s apparently not the norm in these
situations as I’ve learnt the hard and embarrassing way. (There’s no cuddling
in Game of Thrones, just FYI.)
It just seems to me that when nobody is fucking you, you’re
fucking yourself (over). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not administering casual sex as
the quick fix to life’s woes. But. We’re all adults; we shouldn’t need to feel
ashamed about having sex with someone whom we don’t see a future with. Telling
a girl you love her just to get into her pants, only to ignore her once you
have, is obviously a dick move. You don't need me to tell you that. So is giving her a handshake after sex. It may
get your point across loud and clear that ya’ll are just friends, but there are
better ways to go about this. Such as, I don’t know, being sincere and talking
about it before screwing each other. (As if that’s ever happened in history.) A
significant amount of discretion is essential, but as long as nobody is being a
moron about it, laying the cards out on the table right from the get-go may
actually work to everyone’s advantage.
That being said, even though I do not see any
disturbing flaws with the no-strings-attached arrangement, I definitely was not
built to handle it. I need the strings – bungee cords, if I’m being direct and
specific. My default emotional setting is ‘ALL IN’. There is no possibility of
turning it down a notch, or off for that matter. Sex with another person will
always mean something – whether “it’s complicated” or you’re “in an open
relationship” or “widowed”. Someone is inside you/you are inside someone. Hello??!
How is that not a big deal?
